Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
