I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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