worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
