We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
