Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
They left me at home... I'm a liability
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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