If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
