Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
