I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
