i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
