No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
