i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
