We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
