you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
