After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
