No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
