her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
