mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
