guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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