ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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