i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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