he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
