Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
