I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
my being single is dangerous.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
