That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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