I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
