Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
We are two peas in an std pod
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
