Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
