If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
In America we eat man semen.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize