dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
