She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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