Cold hands, warm shart.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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