Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
