just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
