jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
