i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I seem to have left my pride at pride
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
