Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
