I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
