hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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