Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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