are you still at the devil's house?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Randomize
