We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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