At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm at about main and main street
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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