I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
