SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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