you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
