so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
