you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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