so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
