i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
