i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
