Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
