Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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